“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.” Robert Frost
Bill Lippincott, Recovery Specialist, Wentworth Divorce Consultants
My friend David got divorced a few years back.
In his divorce he first moved into a small unfurnished home with ultra-white walls and a funky kitchen with an old rotary phone hanging by a tired fridge. Soon he had some furnishings and his things on the shelves, and it began to feel more like a home. His three kids came over with their dog in hand every week, and gradually they built new rhythms into their lives. The adjustments kept coming, fast and furious at first, then more slowly. And they went on for some time until he no longer felt them anymore.
Recovery from divorce takes time. How much time depends on a lot of factors: the length of your marriage, the issues leading to the divorce, and your own personal psychology. But for most people it will take two to four years to get through it all. The adjustments come as a shock at first, and then fade over time until you look back and say, “Wow…I feel normal again.”
It is important to take this period of recovery to do all the things you need to get your life back on track…especially right after your agreements are approved by the court.
So as you are getting re-adjusted to your new life and getting your feet back on the ground it is important to stay on the task of taking care of the many details that will bring you true financial security. Unfortunately, even leaving 10 percent of your financial to-do list undone can have huge consequences. What kind of consequences? Consider these:
The forty-year-old woman who realized after her ex-husband’s funeral that he removed her as beneficiary on a life insurance policy he was obligated to carry to pay for college expenses
The fifty-five-year-old man who was cut out of his ex-wife’s pension income because the paperwork was never filed properly and acted upon by her employer
The investment portfolio that lost 50 percent of its value in a stock market pullback because it was 100 percent invested in the same speculative growth stocks that were bought years ago and was never invested into more low-risk assets.
So, a recovery plan is the final step, and perhaps the most important one. It is where you begin getting things back on track
What Are the Elements of a Recovery Plan?
Your recovery plan has three parts:
implementing your agreement
putting your financial house in order
and getting back to feeling good emotionally.
In this post we talk about how to begin implementing your agreement and getting some time sensitive critical tasks out of the way In future posts we will talk about the financial and emotional side.
If you want to read ahead we can send you a copy of “The Financially Smart Divorce” which covers all this in detail. Just email us at blippincott@wentworthdivorceconsultants.com. Or you can click on our website here and see all of our guides and books.
Time-Critical First Steps
Before you get into the nitty-gritty of your recovery plan there are a few items that simply can’t wait. They need to be done right away to protect your and your family. To defer acting on them or to ignore them altogether is financial Russian roulette.
Change Accounts into Your Name
As you gather your papers, take note of the names in account titles. Anything in joint name with your ex needs to be changed to your name only unless you agreed otherwise.
If you changed your name as a result of the divorce, you’ll need to get a new Social Security card, driver’s license, passport, and credit cards.
You’ll also need to notify your bank, utilities, insurance companies, credit card companies, the motor vehicle department, your children’s school(s), etc., about any change of name or address.
Lastly, the titles on all assets, such as cars and houses, will have to be modified and recorded with mortgage companies.
Update Wills, Trusts, and Other Estate Documents
Make an appointment with your attorney and review your will or trust.
In addition to documenting where your assets go after your death, you will want to think through who will be the guardians of your minor children and who will make health care decisions for you if you are unable to. Your attorney should walk through each document and point out areas you might want to change.
Update Your Beneficiaries
After the divorce is final it is easy to forget to do something as important as re-designating who gets your money when you die.
Your life insurance policies, IRA and 401(k) accounts, and wills and trusts may need to be changed. Call each firm to get the paperwork you need and fill it out carefully.
Get Life Insurance in Place
You need to have your family protected. If your ex is required to carry insurance as part of your agreement, you need to get confirmation the policy is in place. Ideally, you are now designated as the owner of the policy and will be getting copies of the statements so you can monitor whether the payments are current. Speak with an adviser to acquire new insurance if necessary, on your own life.
Assemble Your Adviser Team
You need to make sure you have the help of a few key advisers.
Your stable of professionals should include an attorney, financial planner or investment adviser, and a tax professional.
Ask for referrals from people you trust. Your CDFA™ (Certified Divorce Financial Analyst) if you have one, can also get you in touch with the firms that have reputations for competence, professionalism, and exceptional client service. Interview at least two in each category and work with the one you communicate with best and works with clients similar to you.
Thank you for reading our initial post about recovery. In future posts we will cover more detailed items to consider in your recovery plan such as getting organized, understanding your agreement, budget, career plan, investments, communication plan and yes life plan!
Excerpted in part from “The Financially Smart Divorce” by J.A. Licciardello
Available on Amazon
My job in this and subsequent posts is to help you manage through many important aspects of your recovery by giving you a step-by-step process for rebuilding your financial, work and family life plan but most importantly helping you deal with the appearance of a foggy path ahead. Bill.
You can always pick up additional information on our website and if you would like a no fee initial consultation let us know we are here to help at www.wentworthdivorceconsultants.com
William (Bill) Lippincott is a divorce recovery consultant with Wentworth Divorce Consultants and works with people across the United States in rebuilding their lives after divorce.
Wenwtworth Divorce Consultants is a leading mediation and divorce financial coaching and consulting firm based out of Rhode Island. We can be reach by calling 401 533-4142, or by emailing wentworthplanning@gmail.com. Our website is wentworthdivorceconsultants.com