The Compassionate Response

By Katie Licciardello, Parenting Specialist

Today I want to share a practice that serves me when a child in my class is struggling.

I set a timer and sit in meditation for a few moments, breathe, and hold that child in light. I imagine them in their best, most secure selves. I envision their needs being met and decisions coming easily to their caretakers.

This visualization meditation is called The Compassionate Response from Kim John Payne, author of Simplicity Parenting.

1)      Get centered

  • Breathe gently. Focus your attention on your heart area.

  • Use self-talk or mantra that helps you feel calm.

  • Examples: “relax”; “peace begins with me”; “Just a breath in, just a breath out”; “this is not personal”

2)      Golden Moment

  • Imagine the child happy, at peace, engaged, in the flow of his or her life.

  • Several images may come.

  • Let them be, until one becomes clearer than the others.

  • Keep that image in your mind.

  • Notice how you feel, especially in your body.

  • Release or breathe the picture out

3)      Soul Fever

  • Imagine the child upset, withdrawn, angry, down. Allow the images to surface, until one picture is clearer.

  • Hold this image and notice how you feel, especially in your body.

  • Practice drawing close or breathing in the picture of the soul fevered child.

4)      Both together

  • Hold both pictures in your imagination at once.

  • Move your attention gently from one to the other. Breathe in the soul-fevered picture, then breathe out the light filled golden moment picture.

5) Use it - Don’t lose it

Practice the exercise in quiet moments, alone, so that you are more prepared to find center next time there is a meltdown. Over time it begins to come naturally.


Katie purple jacket 75.jpg

This post was provided by Katie Licciardello, Parenting Specialist with Wentworth Mediation and Consulting, and teacher at Bloom pre-scho0l in Middletown, Rhode Island.

You can read more posts at her website www.pocketcalm.com